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• mollygrue Oct 12, 2008, 1:43 pm

It could easily have become depressing, but I think the topic is enlightening more than anything else. Thanks for sharing.

This might sound incredibly nerdy given the source material, but when I die, I'd really like someone to speak my death. A speaking reveals the deceased in a new light, exposes their strengths and weaknesses for all to see with the hope of bringing resolution for those who are still alive. In my family, we don't discuss the dead except on the day of the funeral, and then it's only platitudes. I'd like something more honest.

I vote to keep the meal for/with the dead (in whatever form it takes) going though ^_____^

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• banditzjing Oct 13, 2008, 12:12 pm

Makes a lot of sense. I remember my friend's mother and sister went to their grandmother's funeral(my friend stayed behind to keep me company because I was there visiting, and mind you it was the grandmother of my friend). When they called back they told us they were "having a great time at the funeral." Kinda inappropriately hilarious at first but after explaining. why it made sense.

At the reception they were all enjoying the food and talking about the good times that the grandmother had. Yeah there were some people crying and being sad which is understandable, especially if you were extremely close. But it seemed to be a very positive atmosphere where people enjoyed the memories.

That seems like the best kind of funeral.

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• BittenKitten Oct 13, 2008, 10:40 pm

How 'imminent' do you mean by 'imminent'? I mean it's all imminent in the sense that 70 or 80 years are going to whizz by...Is that what you mean?

*worry, worry, worry*

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• Nicotine Oct 14, 2008, 3:01 pm

I know where you're coming from.

In Nigerian culture (my parents are from Nigeria), if someone who dies is older, the funeral is not for people to come and cry. You're supposed to be happy and celebrate. Sure, people will cry, but that's seen as disrespectful. Everyone is supposed to come together, eat, sing, and celebrate that person's life. So, in Nigerian culture, funerals are very much for the living. The way we see it is "Why be sad if someone has lived for 75 years? That's a long, good life!" XD

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